Bayside (Doubts and Wonders)

I still want that tattoo
a symbol of a shared love
between me and you
with its pulchritudinous colours and elegant lines
it divides the right from the wrong
in my mind
i justify its existence with vacant lies
the sounds they make
are beautiful symphonies
 filling the void you left in me
wrapping me up in warm Discolouration
this tattoo is a lie (so is the cake)
just a remnant of you
sewn into me

Irish Breakfast Tea

I want to be the distraction on your lips
the universe in your eyes
and the electricity on your fingertips
when you breathe in all your anxieties
 and sadness,
I'll be the slow warm exhale of comfort
 in madness
I want to be each piece of hair falling out
And each tear shed
Each bruise a piece of me forgotten
on your skin
most of all
i want  to be the dripping blood from
your wrist
Tainted by the poison in your mind

Hardly Moving On, But Im No Saint

I use to have the prettiest of lovers
brightest blue eyes
and a light that shown for no other
she lost herself finally
she no longer shines for me

i still trace the lines of her jaw
the curve of her lips
and the cords of her muscles
in my sleep
she is still with me

the warmth of the sun rising
reminds me of long nights
tangled and lost in you
sleep no longer peaceful

i have lost myself among the insomniacs

Things Become UnHinGed

There is a war going on inside my head
exploding with forgives and forgets
i hate you
for everything you did to me
for leaving me this empty husk
of a dying breed
God i hate you
you are so beautiful
with your ice cold blue eyes
and sharp piercing tongue
i love you
i love you
God i love you
these memories suffocating my sanity
burned deeply into my temporal lobe
what have you done to me?
your smell still lingers
your touch still felt...
God i hate you

Gay Families (and why they’re not so bad); The entire paper

   Recently, the fight for equality for same-sex couples has brought up an unresolved issue. Are gay families harmful to children? Unless you are a religious person or you feel morally wronged by homosexuals, the consensus is no. Homosexual parents are no worse than heterosexual parents. In most cases, homosexuals are even better parents than heterosexuals. The biggest argument for that is that unlike heterosexual beings who can procreate just by forgetting to use a condom, homosexuals have to plan and go through a legal process to either adopt a child or use in vitro. Meaning in all cases of homosexual parenting, the child was wanted and thoroughly planned for. How often can you say that happens for heterosexuals? As a product of a missed birth control pill, I have gone through more emotional trauma than most wanted children.
  One argument that has been thrown around quite a bit is that gay parents create gay children. Pause and take a step back to think about this. Gay parents create gay children…just like straight parents create straight children right? If that’s the case then it is safe to assume that either everybody in the world is straight and every single queer is an acting genius or everybody in the world is gay and they just don’t realize it yet. Common sense is not so much a common trait anymore. I am as queer as a three dollar bill and my father is a homophobic heterosexual. When I have children eventually, I will not force them to be gay and I won’t force them to be straight. Learning to accept who your children are instead forcing them to be a preconceived notion in your head is the first step to being a real parent. If my son came up to me one day and said he wanted to wear all pink to school, then by a man I don’t believe in (God), I would let him. To force a child into something they are not is to destroy their individuality, their humanity. In most instances a parent is trying to do what is best for their child but what they do not understand is that maybe what you think is best is not the same as what the child needs. “A lot of parents will do anything for their kids, except let them be themselves” (Banksy).
   The next argument conservatives run to is their newfound belief that children need both a father and a mother. I don’t seem to recall this coming up when women or men become widows, one parent leaves the family inexplicably, single parents, and teenage mothers. In fact, today we glorify teenage pregnancy with ‘reality’ television shows. Most single parents have to take up both roles as mother and father and that does not mean the child turns out wrong. Society has stigmatized that the father is the strong hand and the mother is the soft, caretaker for the child. Surprisingly what conservatives seem to not realize is humans can adapt relatively well to any changes to their ‘normal’. A woman becomes the authority for her child as well as the nurturer after her male counterpart either dies or leaves. A man can change to become the shoulder his daughter needs to cry on and still be the father to protect her in a harmful situation. Just because a person is homosexual does not make that any different. Instead of having one dad to cling too, now the child has two protectors ready to defend her at any cost. It matters not what your gender is or your sexual preference but whether you are willing to be everything your child needs. Children are not born with notions of social norms. They are born with the need for unconditional love and a pillar to support them. Any good parent will be just that for them no matter if they are heterosexual or homosexual.
      Of all the different oppositions to gay marriages and gay families, the ability for homosexuals to reproduce offspring is the most contradictory. The anti-gay groups are trying to invalidate homosexual marriages all because they cannot procreate a child of their own given meaning to said marriages. By doing this they also directly attack any families, such as former Governor Mitt Romney’s Sons’ family, who could not conceive by natural means. They attack families who have had to adopt children, like Chief Justice Roberts, claiming that adoption is second best. Almost saying that adoptive children are close to second class citizens. A majority of families that had to adopt were either infertile or sterile. So by denying homosexuals the right to marry based on the ability to conceive, would be to deny any adoptive family or foster family their marriage as well. On the same note, what does one consider in vitro fertilization to be? The procedure uses donated sperm to create life in the womb of a woman. It is not a natural way to conceive but is widely used among couples who, for some reason or another, cannot conceive on their own. Are they being discredited as bad parents unworthy of the title as married couple because they could not conceive naturally? In the end how does all of this affect the child or children in question? It can be assumed that the children being adopted are quite exultant about getting out of the social system and into a home that can love and care for them properly and children conceived through in vitro would not go through the social stigma of being adopted (adoption bringing a psychological aspect because the child had to go through being abandoned by their biological family).
   On the same line of thought, how are children with gay parents worse off than children with divorced parents? The answer is, they are not. Study after study (mostly done in the 1990’s) prove that children suffer psychologically worse than most other children. They suffer abandonment issues along with placing the blame of their parents’ divorce on their shoulders. More often than not, the parents pressure the child into choosing sides, or blaming the child for their ruined marriage. So explain how homosexual parents are worse than divorced parents? In ALL cases of homosexual families the child was always chosen and planned for. If a homosexual couple didn’t want to stay in a relationship for the rest of their life they would not bring a child into that relationship. In one case, a homosexual couple started the process to adopt but ended up not agreeing with each other so much that they called it off before it was too late (From ‘I do’ to ‘I’m done’, Nymag).
  How are children with gay parents different with those that have straight parents? Essentially, there is absolutely no difference. Once you start getting down to the grit of it though it seems that children with gay parents tend to turn out far more successful and psychologically better than those with straight parents. Gay parents do not force their child to their specific point of view (or sexual preferences. Children with gay parents tend to be heterosexual more often than not) nor do they limit them to doing what the social normal for their gender. Kids are not regulated to just ‘boy-things’ or just ‘girl-things’.

“They are more self-aware, more adept at communicating their feelings, and exhibit more empathy for people different from themselves. They learn early how to negotiate the outside environment, gauge other people's motives, and assess how open they dare to be in specific situations. They are strong. In my work, I routinely saw how, with enough support from their families, children of gay parents developed skills at thinking independently and standing up for what they believed which distinguished them from many children with straight parents. In my study boys of two-moms families spent more time with a parent than the boys of mom and dad couples who more readily relegated childcare responsibilities to babysitters.”**

In the end, all the really matters when it comes to being a family is how well you raise them. No matter if you are gay straight or transgender, if you can love your child unconditionally and take care of them than you have every right to the child and that family.

“Many studies have demonstrated that children’s well-being is affected much more by their relationships with their parents, their parents’ sense of competence and security, and the presence of social and economic support for the family than by the gender or the sexual orientation of their parents,”*** (Siegel)

             

                                            

Gay Families (and why they're not so bad)

               

   Recently, the fight for equality for same-sex couples has brought up an unresolved issue. Are gay families harmful to children? Unless you are a religious person or you feel morally wronged by homosexuals, the consensus is no. Homosexual parents are no worse than heterosexual parents. In most cases, homosexuals are even better parents than heterosexuals. The biggest argument for that is that unlike heterosexual beings who can procreate just by forgetting to use a condom, homosexuals have to plan and go through a legal process to either adopt a child or use in vitro. Meaning in all cases of homosexual parenting, the child was wanted and thoroughly planned for. How often can you say that happens for heterosexuals? As a product of a missed birth control pill, I have gone through more emotional trauma than most wanted children.

  One argument that has been thrown around quite a bit is that gay parents create gay children. Pause and take a step back to think about this. Gay parents create gay children…just like straight parents create straight children right? If that’s the case then it is safe to assume that either everybody in the world is straight and every single queer is an acting genius or everybody in the world is gay and they just don’t realize it yet. Common sense is not so much a common trait anymore. I am as queer as a three dollar bill and my father is a homophobic heterosexual. When I have children eventually, I will not force them to be gay and I won’t force them to be straight. Learning to accept who your children are instead forcing them to be a preconceived notion in your head is the first step to being a real parent. If my son came up to me one day and said he wanted to wear all pink to school, then by a man I don’t believe in, I would let him. To force a child into something they are not is to destroy their individuality, their humanity. In most instances a parent is trying to do what is best for their child but what they do not understand is that maybe what you think is best is not the same as what the child needs. “A lot of parents will do anything for their kids, Except let them be themselves” (Banksy).

*****This is just a little bit from the paper i am currently writing

SNAP.SNAP.SNAP.

Listening.
 Everybody speaks but nobody listens. Our mouths stay open but are minds are shut tight to our surroundings. We reap the benefits of our selfish beings while striking down those who don't conform to our one thought(our one mind). The world screams beneath our weight as we drill further into her peace. Deaf, as always, to the weeping of our hearts. Our hearts connected to the earth still,but are bodies forgotten. The natural instinct all but forgotten as we become robots to the new normal.
Tick, Tick, Clink.
Our hearts become metal too. Sitting on a utopia of great voices and metallic minds. Gaia all but shriveled up. An ancient spirit finally silenced.
No longer speaking.
Nobody is listening.


Nothing is going on. I think I'm speaking but I don't know. I can't hear myself so maybe you can't hear me either.
I am silent.
Mute.
No thoughts flowing out. Everything forcing its way into the frequencies of my brain.
I am Listening.
I am stuttering my way through your words.
But can you hear me?

                                         

The Last Testament Part 1

"When I was at church they taught me something else
If you preach hate at the service those words aren’t anointed
That holy water that you soak in has been poisoned
When everyone else is more comfortable remaining voiceless
Rather than fighting for humans that have had their rights stolen
I might not be the same, but that’s not important
No freedom till we’re equal, damn right I support it"

Equality among our fellow human beings has become a major issue for our society today. You claim homosexuality is against God and the Bible but isn't acting as God a sin too? God made ALL of his children in his likeness and homosexuals are no different. We were in FACT born this way. We did not choose to make society hate us and attack us. Why would anybody want to make their life that unbearable? People tend to forget that everything they say, all that they do, is a cause and effect. Your actions reflect the person you are. You judge me because i found love with somebody who just happens to be the same sex as I am. You accuse us of destroying the sanctity of marriage when all we want is to make it stronger. Divorce rates are ever increasing. Kim Kardashian lasted 72 days, whereas Rachel Maddow (MSNBC talk show host, The Rachel Maddow Show) and her partner Susan Mikula have been together since 1999. 33% of christians went through divorce just this past year alone. Even dogs can get married. I am a human being just like you but you spit in my face and denounce me because of a natural feeling i have. I didn't judge you for being straight. I don't treat you less than what you are because of the feelings you have. So what makes you so important that you believe you have control over my life?   
                    "I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together"

                                

Self Destruction

“I was confided to your loyalty and accepted by your treason; you offer my death to those to whom you had promised my life. Do you know who it is you are destroying here? It is yourself.” 

― Victor Hugo, Ninety-Three

Of all the animals in this kingdom, humanity is the only one to revel in its self destruction. We lie, cheat, and steal. We mar our bodies with our fleeting emotions. Consume alcohol until we can no longer remember anything, smoke until our lungs are black and charred. Why do we do all of it? We let our emotions rule everything we do in life. The human race is collectively screaming inside begging to be who they want to be, but our leaders, our friends and family, condemn us to being two different people. One wears our skin, walks around for us, going to class and interacting with friends and family, saying the things people want them to say. The other is who we are. Screaming inside our heads, destroying our minds because we cant handle who we've become. You claim to be 'real' and honest but there are things inside your head you would never let out. Things that would make society think twice. Not one person is real and honest. We can't even be honest with ourselves. But would our world be better if we had no emotion, no thought of our own? Our society is so great because we have had a few great individuals express exactly how they felt and then shared it. they opened up their soul to the world and we devoured it. We sit here squirming in our seats wishing to come clean and admit to all the wrong doing we've done to ourselves but it will never happen. Only the brave come forward and make our world beautiful.

                                                                               "I am I, and I wish I weren't.” 
                                                                     ― Aldous Huxley, Brave New World

Daydreamin'

"Daydream
I fell asleep beneath the flowers
For a couple of hours
On a beautiful day
Daydream
I dream of you beneath the flowers
For a couple of hours
     Such a beautiful day"**

The effects of music on the mind, body, and brain ( mind being your personality, and brain being the firing of synapses) are profound. Music that has generally pro-social lyrics and an upbeat rhythm will give the mind pro-social thoughts and you will more likely to interact with people positively.

   

"We believe a main factor influencing the uplifting condition is the popularity of the songs, 
which have an upbeat tempo and are easily recognizable. Due to the popularity of these songs, they are often heard 
on the radio and at social events, which may make them associated with positive thoughts and feelings. In contrast, 
the annoying condition involved music without lyrics that is not played on the radio for enjoyment."*

Music creates a sensory input that stimulates the brain into remembering past things in your life. Music helps Alzheimer's and dementia patients enhance their memories. Music is one of the most inspiring art we have. we listen to songs before a race, a game, or a meet to pump up and put our mind in the zone. We use music to create romantic settings or great romantic acts. Everyday music has done something for you. So why let it go to waste? Our educational leaders should be promoting more music classes in school instead taking them away.

*http://www.uwlax.edu/urc/JUR-online/PDF/2010/ganser&huda.PSY.pdf
** Daydreamin' by Lupe Fiasco

Aca-Believe It.

Did you know that researchers at OSU(Ohio State University) have found a space cloud that contains enough alcohol for 400 billion trillion pints of beer.

If your mind isn't blown by this you either have no appreciation for space or no appreciation for alcohol. Either way you're pretty freaking lame. 
   I fell in love with space around the same time i fell in love with reading(which is to say at a very young age of 5). My mom would bring home books and magazines about the final frontier for me every week, and she still does to this day. Its just something about the great unknown and the vast possibilities it could hold that just gets my brain juices flowing. Have you every wonder what was out there beyond our small solar system? The past is out there in those dead stars we see every night. There is a theory that space is like a funnel. You have the very beginning(a light), then there is the dark matter. The big bang happens and all of a sudden everything starts to expand rapidly outward. And it [space] continues to expand rapidly every day. Just like our world is continually growing, so is the great mystery that is space.

                                            
Most of my readings come from  http://chandra.harvard.edu/ and http://www.nasa.gov/. 

I Am Not A Blogger

  The title pretty much sums it up. I am not a blogger. I'm not even a writer. When it comes to creativity in this department, I severely lack the skills needed to perform. In all honesty if my girlfriend wasn't at boot camp right now, I would probably be making her do this for me. So what am I supposed to blog about? How interesting class is? Or how the stuff we're supposed to be reading gets my brain juices flowing? Unfortunately I would be lying if I did that. I haven't even read the essays we are supposed to read. I started to, then i decided history was a whole lot more interesting. No offense (or take offense, what do I really care?).
  If we started a discussion in class about Harry Potter, I would achieve boss status. Yes, you read that right. Harry freaking Potter. I nerd out to HP hard. I'm not lying when I say I've read the whole series at least ten times through. I own two, TWO, wands. I am proud of my nerdom. It gives character to my personality.
 On a different note, there is a series of books I have read about bloggers. Its also about the zombie apocalypse. So if anybody likes zombies and news blogging, Feed by Mira Grant is a book i highly recommend. Its highly addictive and will consume your life with awesome zombie killing and government conspiracies. Go Read It. It will make you a happier person, I promise. Just kidding. I don't know you like that, I don't know your life, What you've been through ;) Have a Nice Day.